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Xavi files Barcelona’s complaint to UEFA about the San Siro pitch

keepingitrealmadrid:

Xavi (right) would like you to see things his way. (Getty)

By Brooks Peck | Dirty Tackle – Fri, Mar 30, 2012 2:43 AM EDT

On Thursday, following the scoreless first leg of Milan and Barcelona’s Champions League quarterfinal, Barcelona filed an official complaint with UEFA regarding the sloppy condition of the pitch at the San Siro. This is Xavi’s plea…

Gentlemen of UEFA,

Normally, I would introduce myself as Xavi — defender of all that is good and just — and I would offer you a generous gift of train whistles and various cheeses, but today there is no time for such pleasantries. A savage, intestine-devouring murder has occurred and now I come to you in the hopes of punishing the demons responsible!

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ALMOST as awesome as my under-bed drawer … ;P